It's hard when you slip back into a dark place where the light hardly reaches...
When memories spring back from forgotten places and come back to the surface, spilling over the edges...
For those of you who don't know...my brother died 21 months ago...Wow, just writing that is strange! March will be 2 years. Two whole years...I find it hard to grasp...
I did some of my wedding pages today for my wedding album...yes, I know, a shocker...12 years on and I still haven't finished it! One of the pages was of my family and there was a photo of him and Me together...I just went to pieces...crumbled into a snotty mess....
I guess no matter how much time passes, you always still miss those you have lost.
I am grateful for my memories and the time I did have with him but yet, it's still hard.
I know it's not the kind of post maybe you wanted to read and I am sorry...but sometimes I just need to talk about it...
Thanks for listening...
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12 comments:
Hi Bon. My dear friend, I'm so sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I have been there Bon, still have those days, when I am reminded of the absence of my Dad.
Sometimes it just hits you, comes out of the blue, other times, it can be just the season, or somethings when you forget, and you think 'I must tell them'...and then you remember, that hollow emptiness, that they're not there. And its harsh how life just moves on.
I just wish I could be there to give you a hug, some tissues, and just be there to listen to you talk about him.
your polyvore picture is just beautiful bon. So moving and touching.
I am thinking of you, sweet friend
I'm sorry you are feeling so down. You must miss him very much, hugs to you!
Hi Bonnie, your sorrows deepness is a reflection of the depth of your relationship with him. I truly believe we were friends before we came to Earth and that we will reconnect after our Earthly experience as well. I don't believe that our spirit ever dies, just the body, and we will be reunited again with those we love. The family relationship is so special and eternal.
I believe that we enter a very busy phase of our life after Earth, and he has learned much and is looking forward to seeing you when it is your turn, years in our terms, a twinkling in his. Remember your love, foster love in your family, and look forward eternally! Huge hugs, and think of the possibilities!
Dear Bonnie,
My heart goes out to you and I feel for your sadness. It is extremely hard sometimes to cope under these circumstances and to make sense of life. I am a firm believer in talking about the person we have lost, don't feel embarrased. Talk all you want, pour out your feelings and thoughts and we will listen, help and understand all we can. Hugs Sue P.
Ahh Bonnie don't be blue ;) I must have been feeling you today because I popped a package in the mail to you...how sureal is that! Don't apologize for how you are feeling about your dear brother...ever! I know that it is never easy and that you don't every get over the loss of a loved one...it's just a new reality that we are forced to live with. In that reality are days of tears and mourning for the way things were...especially triggered when you find old memories or things of happier times spent together...like your wedding. Hang on to all of it and I am so glad that you are talking about it. I have a really hard time with the holidays since my Dad passed going on 6 years now...OMG...talk about a hard thing to say let alone write! Some days are easier than others and just letting it be as it is works best for me. If I don't feel like putting up a tree...so be it. With my kids out of the house I don't have to really worry about it for now. Just trying to enjoy being here in the moment. Hope this helps and be on the look out for a package my dear friend.
Fondly, Roberta
((Hugs)) Sometimes there isn't anything else to say.
Bonnie,
I think it's good to talk - or - write about how you are feeling at times like this. I'm sure you have felt alone in your grief even though, in your heart, you know you are not alone. Talk, write, rant, cry..it's okay. I think it's all part of the "grieving process." I hate that phrase, by the way, but there are steps that all help to get to the point when it doesn't hurt as bad.
Take care.
Angela
Bonnie, I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time right now. I know exactly what Em means about the 'I must tell them...' thing, followed by such painful emptiness.
Your beautiful layout is a lovely - and loving - tribute to your brother and your relationship with him, but even more than that, it is an example of how you deal with pain, by seeking beauty. I am the same way -- just not nearly as successful at creating such beauty. That makes me dependent on talented people like you, who create the beauty I need so much. Thank you for all that you create.
{{Hugs}},
Karla
Well, it's your blog, and you can cry if you want to.
{{{hugs}}} Hope the light reaches your heart soon.
Dear Bonnie,
I hope you are feeling a little brighter now, but don't ever fret about sharing your feelings with us - yes we have a common bond with our hobbies but that also builds up friendships and we should share our feelings with friends!
Every one at some time will lose someone they love dearly, sometimes we lose someone we feel went too soon and we feel cheated and it's harder to cope with that.
We know time will surely heal the wound - but it won't erase the scar. Thank goodness we have our memories to cherish.
Take Care,
Sal xx
So sorry, can't believe how fast the time has gone. Hope you are feeling better. We must get together when you have time again.
I just stumbled on your blog while looking up 'Birdcage' in Stellenbosch as I discovered this fine restaurant/gift shop last week. Your blog is so delightful and charming and I have been reading some of your old posts. So sorry to read about the loss of your brother. I sincerely hope that special memories of the past bring you peace and comfort today and always.
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